Personnel

They found the wardrobe (added a modest cover charge), hit the forest, killed all the unpleasant animals, made the pleasant ones work in the bar (and the sexy ones serve) at the new Blaster Springs Complex-Complex, and changed the name from Narnia to Blasteria.

So if you want to experience something truly spectacular, and moderately priced, then do yourself a flavour and get on the Bus To Blasteria where you don’t have to stand for old people because they are not welcome (the drivers are Minotaurs and are trained to hoof those unfitting of entrance). There was snow but we used it all for cocktails on the opening night.

We burned some stuff and now it is well tropical here at the bar; Tuesday Night Shirtless Poker, Friday Barefoot Darts Night, Saturday Arvo Topless Centaur Chick fights — watch them hoof each other until the last chick standing — loser gets casseroled (from the waist down).

You think we’re going to tell you that?

You?

Don’t make us laugh condescendingly to ourselves.

If you even caught a glimpse of our Brain Tornado Sessions (storms are for pussies) your eyes would implode and your brain would drop out your arse sideways.

You can have confidence in us, because if you don’t we’ll simply take it from you.

Our results are as tangible as a kick to the groin but as persuasive as a soft summer breeze (to the groin). Like seeing a smoking monkey wearing a hat, you know you’re witnessing the best of the best. Like any genuine arse kicking posse of Awesomites, each member has their own special method of discharging creativity. Playing phone Tetris on the John, eating corn chips in the dark, listening to 70’s rock shirtless or doing house work wearing a wig and ninja outfit.

The results are the same: mind-blowingly, groin destructive awesomeness.
Get Blaster
Manifesto

Welcome to the online home of the Genius Genus, the Ingenious Genius, those whom carry the Genius Genes. Do you believe in magic? Yes? Then piss off right now, because you're just a chicken nippled pony patter. There is no magic, only illusion created by people smarter and better than you. Formerly highly decorated Wiz Kids, they have blossomed into full blown Wizards of their respective skill sets, which are as diverse as they are death defying in their numerosity. They don't call them Superheroes, they call them contemporaries (except for Superman, he's just a wank off). The Blasterlings are the physical manifestation of a high-five, the sneaky reacharound and the open handed slap at the same time. A jumbotronic, cherub pissing fountain of wit biting reverse kowtowing with a difference. Pass us your apple and we will polish it to outer space for you.

All five members not only live outside The Box, but, in a Jesus-like medical miracle defying scientific explanation, they were actually born outside The Box. A team of A-Teamers, they know the secret to help the medicine go down and it ain't sugar. They followed the rainbow, killed the leprechaun (he put up a good fight though), used the gold to buy drugs, guns and illegal polar bear skin monk robes (complete with headpiece) and renovated the surprisingly large pot into a fully fledged arse kicking Think Tank. Having trouble visualizing them? Think Power Rangers but less gay. Think Ninja Turtles but better fighters. Think Brady Bunch but no one is related and they are all hot —and that's not a coincidence but a natural by-product of a steady diet of Genius for breakfast (because that is the breakfast of champions).

So relax in the knowledge that you are safe in the hands of the Gods. And we're not talking old, white bearded Gods in nighties, we're talking the old school Greek posse of sexy, and scantily clad, young Gods because that's something you can truly believe in.
Recent
  • Melbourne International Comedy Festival

    Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2010/Poster & Print Campaign

    link In tandem with our pals at 10Fold, late of good old Richmondo , we've been bollocks deep in rolling out print collateral for this year's Festival over the last few months. Sticking to our bleary eyed, star fucking ethos, our required contributions were right up our proverbial alley; you'll have been well and truly inundated in promotional materials for late night red light delights like The Festival Club, Rich Fulcher, Frisky & Mannish and the Headliners revue recently, we're quite sure.
  • Falls Festival 2009

    Falls Festival 2009/Branding, site and social networking campaigns

    link Last year saw us teaming up with the dudes at Frontier on pretty much the entire Falls Festival '09 kit, caboodle, shebang and so forth- that'd be the illustration, look and feel, website, social networking campaign, merch and shitloads more. After the success of the entire grand endeavour, we'll be getting amongst it for the guys again this year- keep an eye on the Blaster Blog for all the Falls action as it lurches its way into existence.
  • Manabroad

    Man Abroad

    link Blaster founder, moustache impresario, lady magnet and all around magic-eyed genius, our very own Dethbat, AKA Nick Lewis, has been roaming the Chilean wilds for the last six months or so on a humanitarian mission to spread the Doctrine Of Blasterism to our South American Friends. Philanthropically, Nick has been posting regular doses of Weapons Grade Genius at his Blogspot as a service to humanity- we'll keep you updated on his Earthquake Punching adventures as he enters the home stretch of his sabbatical.
  • Streat Magazine

    Streat Magazine Shoot

    link Another formative Blaster scallywag, Ms Kellie 'Shocker' Gollings, is a regular photographic fixture on the mean streets of postcode 3066 and surrounds. The Shocker's got an eye for the dazzling, etching electrifying imagery out of the urban pile- her current set over at Streat is a fine example of the glinting, eagle eyed snappery she brings to the Blaster fold, not to mention her cheekily charitable nature.
  • Gig Poster Challenge

    Blaster Gig Poster Challenge

    link Current studio shits and giggles revolve around conjuring up alternative gig posters for any shows of merit we can actually remember attending. Because, let's be serious here, 99% of the stuff out there is just plain insulting to the music fan, innate? Recent faces have included Clutch, Howlin' Rain and The Wagons; if we can find a few saucy minutes to rub together in the near future, there could well be John Steel Singers, Philadelphia Grand Jury and Brightblack Morning Light efforts in the pipeline.
  • Token Artists

    Token Artists

    www.token.com.au We've been turning out a local Comedy Mafia's load of sites for the guys at Token Artists and Events over the last six months or so; we kicked off with a well loved blog for Blaster fave and good mate Justin Hamilton, anf helped out with mini sites for Frank Woodley, Michael Chamberlin and Hannah Gadsby; we've also put together sites for Talkin' 'Bout your Generation alums Charlie Pickering and Josh Thomas Meanwhile, over at Token Events, we put together the site for the critically acclaimed stage show Good Evening.